dwelling~~ ^_^

It has been a long time since entering new sem, there’s no new post..hehe..it is expected u know .. Nothing to tell about n keep busying with new subjects that need so much attention though.

Now im in a home mode..holidays that i alwys waiting for..n this is the first time im back since last 3 months holiday. Happy~ that’s the word in my head n glad coz there’s nothing to worry about as my midsem exm was finished already. No exam after raya like the others n it makes me feel lucky enough in keeping myself to take pleasure in this mode.. ^_^

But what makes me fret rite now is i x shopping raya lagi..-_- ...still...it is a last minute as last year, evrythng was done before last week of ramadhan..huh.. pasar payang.. will be my destination on this whole week..hmm..please plucking me in attempting the traffic jam n people that smtimes really annoying.. argghhh...adding to my melancholy..i’ve to go alone..alone..alone..huh..my sis will coming back at nite before raya...-_-.. Suppose to go along with me instead of giving me money to buy everything ALONE.. :-(

Raya is approaching and Ramadhan is leaving us.. i even dun realize that time is passing by really swift and almost end of it already..sad.. i really enjoy this Ramadhan..beyond doubt.. :-)
Lets double our ibadah in this last week (last 10days)..n hoping in getting through next Ramadhan..insya Allah..

Enjoy the new song..my new fav.. hee~ ^_^

apakah?

While finishing my work..out of the blue, i am thinking of my room at the campus.. hmm..even it’s only 10 days left, sometimes, i feel i cant wait to be there but sometimes, i do feel that i don’t want to go back there. More likely to be at home and live in a free mode. Nothing much to do..everyday i am free to do anything and wake up anytime that i want..hehe..

Accepting the fact that my room is not really conducive..as a matter of fact, i feel so much comfortable, cosy and really take pleasure in spending my time there.

Hmmm...3rd year is approaching and the year of seniority is increased by one.heh.. i do not know on how to be felt inside..whether to be happy?sad?anxious?worried? or fear? Of course..next sem will bring about more difficult subjects and wondering whether i can cope or not..

How good or bad it is, we must get through that year, rite? It doesn’t seem that we can skip the whole year and when we wake up..eyes open..it’s already on the graduation day...hehe..

Hoping that i am really in chuffed to bits next semester and my courage and enthusiasm will sky-scraping, succeed and live gleefully..insya Allah. Jz hope for the best!! :-)

p/s: ayoyo..repot xsiap lg..mlsnye..huk3..

my day? n his day?

This entry is all about 21st june 2009...

A bundle of joy fulfilled my day and my celebration on the my birth-day..even there was no big present or a big celebration but still, i felt contented and happy. 21+ 1...getting older does not mean that we must get older with our appearance. Meaning that, age does not reflect exactly the maturity of an individual. Well...im still young..hehe...not saying that im not matured enough but it takes step by step though.. :-)

In the next day approaching, i wish that i can manage myself to be the better ‘hamba’ Allah, the best daughter, sister, person as well student. N i really hope that my way of thinking become more sought-after and desirable. I am scared of regret rather than failure.

Thanx mom for the advices and wish u gave me...n the present..love it damn much..:-) n tq jgk k.ida..hehe.

Moreover, my gratitude over my special fren for the big surprise that really9 made me stunt. Hehe. Huh, u really made me amazed of the gift. I will always take care of it until it becomes unfit. Ngeh3.

Instead of celebrating, i did know that this day was the father’s day.. hmm..sadness did approached in the morning when i could not wish n say it verbally to the person that once, stood in front of me and smiled when i said, ‘..happy father’s day..’

I alwys feel a bit of jealousy when see ayah2 yg dtg tgk ank2 kt campus because i do know, he will do the same if..yes..IF....hmm...he is still here...
I wish i can tell and write about the day of losing..but i do not know if ppl sees it as flossing..hmm..all the signs that he tried to give to all of us, the feeling of my family felt the nite before he was leaving the next morning..the symptoms and the hikmah disebalik sume ni..as well as the dreams that my family got after the day of losing. There are many things happend and of course...they wont be forgotten.

My lovely daddy, happy father’s day...i love u so much!!! :-) anak abah akn bjaya,insya Allah tp so sorry cnnot b d medical stdnt as u wished before..

Yeay~~~happy day on 21st june ...happy on the day of birth n happy in celebrating the father’s day.. hehe :-)

campor2~

Sometimes when we feel so happy, the sadness will come along at the end. Thus, there is always a reminder ‘jgn hepi sgt, nnt sedih’. Once, i did not believe in that sense but when things were happened which relayed with that statement, i did believe and alwys careful for not being over excited and happy. However, when we sad all day long, at the end, the happiness will emerge n make us feel better in its own way. So..happy and sadness are the blend of human’s life.

Last Sunday, I attended one of my classmate’s wedding and it was so great and i was happy n envy with them of those moments that they created and gone through. Someday, i will be d bride (hehe..ntah ble ntah..) and i’ll always wait the moment of joy and tears in stepping into the new world and experience the sovereign life instead of being dependent on parents before on.

Congratulations MATMIN n ALONG..May both of u stay together until the end of ur life and hereafter as husband n wife and be ready for the next hard time and hepi time that both of u will spend together.

dak2 kelas rmai gak yg dtg..best tgk dorg jln2..nk join jgk..huk3 tp xkn sengsorng pompuan ttbe seketul celah2 lelaki..hohoho.. :-D.. ape pon...thnx to all yg dtg trg yg pns mmbahang..heheh..hr tu dh pesan bw sunblock kn..haha..:-P the memory will be have off pat forever...

The fever that i had on the day after jalan2 n shopping with my mom and kak ida was better. I felt more energetic and full of beans. Yeay~~ tomorrow and the day after will be more contented to fill the moments with my family jln2 kt Kota bharu plak..insya Allah..cri brg n attending the next wedding ceremony there. Looking forward to grab one of my present..hehehe.. can’t wait.. :-D. I hope the moment of getting it will come true..insya Allah.. :-)

:-(

Hatred. That is what i feel right now. Im so angry till i cannot stand up myself but rather to let out by giving off droplets..huh..it does not relieve my emotion right now but i know soon, i will feel contented and lighten again. I hate the person for doing me like this. It will not be easily forgotten and forgive as well even i know he will never apologize for what he had done to mmy and me. I’ll never forgive a person who did anything that hurts mmy even the person is someone that once has my respect and love. His ego rises up like the high mountain never bow to the small ones. Nevertheless, i do believe, one day he will regret the things that he had done and never had the chance to say, ‘i’m sorry.’ i will never come along with this person n i will never do. He is definitely selfish up to highest level and over. Argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............................................
Well...im not easily being angry but once this happen, u a.k.a that 'person' is ssooooooo deserve it!!

and definitely the pray and istigfar are able to help in controlling rage.

it's all about kin~

bussinessssss? gain income?or even in grabbing one?~

Want something splendid in your finance and gain your income? or even for ur health?


If ada yg ingin mencuba/purchase these products, ingin menjadi stockist , or have interest dalam business yg amat berjaya setakat ni, do let me know k? Because i can introduce all of you to someone who is responsible in making your dream comes true, insya Allah.

This supplement is very good. U guys bleh google and find out many interesting benefits and I do dare in saying it because my mother seems to get healthier and energetic since taking it. Alhamdulillah. Cikgu2 skrg mmg popular ngn alpha lipid ni.

and for those yg nk loss weight, this product also can help u in losing weight as well as keep ur body healthy and maintaning the internal body system.

Many pharmacists do recommend this product to the customer even elderly because of its pharmacokinetic n pharmacodynamic. The absorption is very high-à give better effect.
Plzzz let me know if ade yg berminat.. :-)

memories~~

Today’s afternoon, I went to the clinic and accompanied by my beloved mom. After that, my mom wanted to take the car for service as the car has reached its limit which entail the next ‘treatment’.hehe. It took for about one and half hour to get done.

On our way home, my mom decided to stop by at the night market at the Chabang Tiga. As soon as we arrived there, my reminiscences began to capture my eyes. This place was once become part of my life during my childhood. It was where my father n I went to shop groceries and all the wet things for cooking by motorcycle.

I used to sit in the front part (the ‘bakul’ part..hehe of the motorcycle) and always enjoyed the moment. I loved to be closed with my father and when I looked up, I would see his face smiling at me because he knew that I would touch his chin. haha. This place is near to the ‘Muzium Negeri’ and at that time, my family lived at the Losong Haji Mat Shafie. It took only five to seven minutes to arrive at the market.

There and back again, I remembered the bonbon memories of the Fardhu Ain classes during evening at school (sek.keb. sri nilam – standard 3), near to Pusat Chabang Tiga. I went to the class by bicycle and yet I was not going alone.

My best fren during those moment was Hidayah (rsenye matmin knl kot..hehe.SBP dungun) and after half of the journey, we arrived at this house and like always, i yelled, ‘assalamualaikum..aizat!!! cepat...’ and within seconds, he would show up. Hehe.. if hidayah was not come along, aizat n I would go to the classes together by bicycle (beskal laen2 eh..ngee~) and like always, i would yell - call up his name until he showed up. hehe. (aizat-wan mohd aizat..rsenye ad dak kls knl kot. He was a good boy). During the morning hour, I walked to school, as my mother will drop me at one road, which leads me to the school straight away.

I was studying at sek sri nilam only for a year. There’s I met fatin farhana (dak medic), zulhimi (engine tp dah tukar ke MIAT) and then I changed school at Tok Jiring. There was I met bunif, faidhi(dak medic), fizi, jepah and others.. For standard 1 and 2, I studied at Sek Keb Kebun sireh, bukit mertajam and Sek Ren sultan sulaiman 2.
Since I was young, I did change school a lot, met, and made so many friends that I will always keep in mind and remember them.

I did treasure the moments when my friends and I shared together. Those were the moments that money cannot pay for and procured. Moral of the stories, do appreciate the friends that we made and live in contented mode~~

NaTure n ExM

Listening to brett dennen..’ain’t no reason’ woke me up by the curiosity of even people in the west about all the things happened in their life naturally. Well, that’s what we called ‘fitrah’ of homosapiens in living in this universe. The highlight is we all do have the senses in taking the surrounding as the main nosiness in putting effort for doing all the jobs and things that we need to get done. Apathy in nature, solitude we will get. We are the nature. We are part of it..part and parcel..

So..the link?
It’s all about the flu which is running through in certain countries. Alhamdulillah.. Malaysia is not affected but keep praying.. it has been like the nature is giving its clue and seems to be, Allah gives the catastrophe for human’s forgetfulness…wallahualam..
Others?

Exam result:
Hmmm…first thing, alhamdulillah…
Apparently, all my frens keep talking and discussing it..of course..through the batch blog.. Some gives very funny expression about the results and some did give out by the emotions. Whatever the ways are, they are as the way in putting across the feeling inside themselves. So am i. I feel grateful..and pleased. All subjects are pass..and frankly, I did feel like kick in the teeth (disbelief) with my own result. Hopefully, it consistently increased in next sem, insya Allah..dunno what’s going to happen but let’s pray for the best and keep it up. My will should be sturdy and strong always..

COrE~~

15/04/09 :11.59pm

It’s raining heavily this afternoon. I stood up at the window, glanced and gazed the surrounding. Somewhere, somehow..i felt calm.. Looking at those water droplets touched the mother nature..so beautiful.. how great the creatures create by Allah.. it’s took some time for me to be back in reality. My dream flew beyond than it can reach. So much to do..so much to think. Arghhh..life is difficult. It is complicated. If a person in my age has thought so many things, I wonder my parents did think in many things and there was a lot that they must possibly do and plan.

Today’s exam was hard. i admitted, it took a hard work in thinking and noticing what the questions were all about. But somehow, when I looked up around, I amazed that people seems to be really took pleasure in answering it as they were been looking at the rainbow shining through the clouds after raining. Huh..i did think..was I the only one that think it was hard?? yaiks..im busted. it was scared to be think about it for once more.. jz move forward!! U can do it, insya Allah.    

Don’t feel free in the gap in getting through MCQ and OSPE the day after tomorrow. Better keep it up. Run as much as u can..hike as high as u can..believe in what u believe..as long it does take ur aware,strength and gut to be excellent all over again. 

KehiLangn~

Sudden and swift, my fingers are automatically clicked on the pictures folder à ‘family..’

It becomes sense that I miss them a lot after seeing all the pictures and aid with my stress moment in preparing for incoming papers…huh….ble la nk hbs..penat!!!

When I looked upon the latest pictures of last year hari raya…something clouts my heart. My eyes become watery. It’s not a time for the emotional feeling, of course but I cannot stand myself for imagining the condition on that day if ‘abah’ still among us. But all of us a.k.a my family members keep him in our heart. The memory won’t be fade away. The way he talked, supported, jokes around..hmmm…really miss u…it’s too sad when we missing someone that we cannot see him any longer. Sayu…I’m sooo grateful that the sense when the last time I kissed my dad’s forehead on the day of missing him still can be felt even for years.. I swore that the sense still can be felt on my lips. Thank u Allah for keeping ‘it’ for me..

i do envy with others who get the perfect love of the person called father. i lost the love tht i've been craving so much since form 5.. the year that i need so much courages and abet to live on..mmm..mls la nk bcter pnjg..xpsl2 ad senses yg swollen.so, moral of the story..haha.. love ur parents and do show ur love b4 d time is coming.

losing which is abrupt early in d morning without signs are hurt..gone without say gudbye even after seeing him before went to school.. moment to be remembered 4eva..terkilan btol..ish

my mother..she still can maintain her glee though I know, she is strong cause of her children around..

Huh..next paper on Monday after 5 days back to back exam without gaps…and still 6 days back to back exam starting this Monday..13,14,15,16,17,18..

Exams which have been through: physical pharmacy, pharmaceutical analysis, body system : cardiovascular and haematology, body system: respiratory system, and pharmacognosy.

Next exams will be:

Body system: gastrointestinal tract

Body system: urinary system

Nutraceutical and cosmeticeutical

MCQ of all above

OSPE of all body systems and pharmacognosy.

  

down to earth?

It’s already late at night..nearer to dawn..hmmm..what was I thinking?? I cannot sleep..cannot stop thinking…it’s not a state problem of course..hehe..but whatever..i still awake..huh.. better not gonna happen again tomorrow or I’ll get insomnia..heh..hopefully not…

Sometimes..when I am alone..looking up and see things..my mind is beyond what it is look like.. I feel empty..(click 5..hehe) I feel sad..feel uncomfortable for what I have done in my life..what have I done to service my family..my parents..to grant them..to cherish and look within myself..i want them to see me..to understand me..not jz a daughter who come home in a holiday and nothing to give and share about… me, myself are not sure inside..all I can do..jz pray to Allah to give me calmness and tranquil to pace through my steps in walking along the path of my option’s taken..

I am so grateful to be born in this family.. tq Allah.. nothing more to ask.. when looking and watching the other person’s condition..around the world..my love to my family becomes deep as the blue ocean…of course there are some time which I feel hatred and fight with siblings but it is normal..nothing abnormal to feel that way around. Every1 fights.. Not meant as physical fight but more to emotion takes account. Hoho.. To those people who said that arguing between family members is not normal..i say ‘absurd!!’ nobody is perfect… the important remark is the love that grows deep inside..Collaboration and understand are the matters charged. Other things become second intent..

domicile~

Safely arrived at home…homey-domey mode alwiz make me sense alive n tranquil. Breath in different environment hopefully can grant me more pluck to encounter next week and forward. Hah..unfortunately, today’s journey wasn’t good and hepi at all… I didn’t have my ‘panglima’ to talk to and heed all way along..haha.. I didn’t meant special guide as Alfonso de Albuquerque..(btol ke eja nie??) hehe..but as long as I’m feel contented and hepi.. J love it…~~~ the person who’s sat beside me has really bad odour…very powerful –hulk smell of cigarettes. Damn hate!! Huh..if I have the option, I rather opt and prefer sat on the last seat where there was less absorber approached. Headache pon headache la..as long as I can get rid of person who’s smoking..huhu.. L

Weekend mission: complete the report of pharmacognosy..but frankly I don’t think I can..haha..alwiz become the last minute person especially on report..daa~~

~moment to have off pat~

Ahax!!After seven days of soreness and stress moments ~ everyday having 2 exams in different subjects for whole straight 7 days..Could u imagine on how strain we r in coping and finishing the week?

Arghhhh….slowly the time fades away with all the struggles and hopes that I’ve been stake in those papers yet the pressure still growing inside to not let go of myself for being stress. Unfortunately, my hormone seems affected with the condition that I have. Huh…being sensitive with everything surround keeps me feeling exhausted.

Hah..Though, it did turn out..Happy moments always recover to cheer me up..thanx..;-)

Besides, the IPHA bowling tournament did give me pleasure in participating even my team did not included in the ranking. But…the most important was..We did treasure our moments and at least a memoir of the event will everlasting keep in mind and to be remembered. Thanks a lot to the spectators ~amal and mar~ for coming up to enjoy the day. Hehe.. ur support n my team support (jaja, nisah, leaf) did give me spirit though..hahahha.. Same goes with z, len, bell and baizura…’bowling-ing’ together stays forever..;-P yeeehaa~

The ‘best player’ mark was not being expected at all.. Feel the unexpected adds my guts overload and hopefully can participate in next year..hehe.. but..it was unbelievable. I deemed it was just a luck for me rather that skills to gamble with.. J Moreover, there are more participants who are more qualified to win the trophy..Seriously..hmmm…~ tq to all.hehe

SENSE OF WORTH~

Being too on tenterhooks to something is not good at all.. When we keep thinking and imagining that not belong to us..it’s quite absurd…hmm.. argh.. Being grateful is also damn important.. Sometimes, I do realize that I didn’t grateful within myself.. I kept thinking this and that but not thank to all that I have got… what a shame!! I should be thoughtful of all.. I should b solicitous.. Should b!! Thank u Allah for everything that I have.

Low self-esteem is also one thing which I wish to trounce.. I kept thinking negative about myself..Why should I have this?y I’m the only one that be like this? Y this and that.. I always wanna b s1 else instead of myself.. I do not hate myself totally but a part of it.. Thinking of that..i realize how awful I am..i must tolerate and endure with myself n b happy with who I am.. Not try to b sm1 else. I am who I am!!